Going north

Well, I guess you suckers got what you wanted: another corporate shill for a President. Admittedly, Barack Obama is not as bad as George W. Bush, but he's still hecka lame. Think about it: when did you ever hear Obama talk about helping the poor? About single-payer healthcare for all? About legalizing pot? About gay marriage? Answer: never. He just went on about bourgeois middle-class values and tax cuts -- tax cuts! -- when we have a budget deficit and an insufficient social safety net.

Obama has deluded you fools into thinking that he's something different from the ordinary corporate-bought-and-paid-for politician in Washington or Chicago, but he's not. He's on-board with the Wall Street bail-out, but where's the money for regular folks who are losing their homes, their jobs, their medical insurance. Well, I'll tell you where it is: Canada.

Lots of celebrities have said that they'd move to Canada if so-and-so lost the election. Well, Blake and I are doing it. I'm packing up the laser disc player and headed north. We're starting a co-operative marijuana farm in British Columbia -- and it's all organic. Soon, that Canadian flag on my backpack be accurate, as well as tactful.

So, this is the end of my blogging for a while. Thanks to all of you who have read, and if you're ever in the BC and looking to get high, look me up!

Zo long, and thanks for the maltyness

Hi friends.

Sorry I haven't blogged at you in a while. To be honest, this election has got me feeling down. I was able to convince my new friend, Blake, to vote for Nader, but I can't seem to get anyone else on board. The polls are bad, even in a city like Seattle, which I thought was progressive. All of the so-called lefties hereabouts seem to be hooked on Obama; despite the fact that he hangs out with plenty of decent lefties, I can't shake the feeling that he's just another Gore-Kerry corporate Democrat.

What's worse, and what's got me blogging today, is that corporate giant MolsonCoors has announced that they will discontinue the production of Zima. Faithful readers of this blog will know that Zima is among be favorite beverages, along with RC Cola. In the face of falling sales, the right thing to do would be to release the recipe into the public domain, ensuring that loyal Zima-drinkers could continue to enjoy their favorite malt beverage. Instead, it will probably be locked away in some vault full of Adolph Coors's fascist memorabilia, awaiting the day when Zima will be retro, and acceptable to hipsters.

Well, that's just lame. Hecka lame.

Fatty apartheid

Well, I warned you before about this, but now they've gone and done it: the City Council of Los Angeles has banned fast-food restaurants in South Los Angeles, which is apparently one of the impoverished parts of that city. Or, rather, they banned new fast-food restaurants; I guess the existing ones get a monopoly now. Councilwoman Jan Perry, who looks like a skinny bitch herself, is the one who proposed the bill, which passed unanimously.

I guess poor people don't deserve to taste the delicious Western Bacon Six-Dollar Burger from Carl's Jr. (pictured at right). I'll admit, it's not best to eat one everyday, but shouldn't people get that choice? Even Saletan thinks this is a mistake.

Further, as much as I think the government should help people to make the right choices, I fail to see how this bill will acheive the city council's goal (destroying all fatties). After the mayor (a slim fucker, himself) signs this into law, the number of fast-food places in South LA will be the same, as will their menu options. Sure, no one else can open a fast-food joint, but that just increases the value of the existing franchises, because now if you want to sell burgers in South Central, you have to buy out an existing place.

I can tell you this: this would never have happened back in Philly. We like our mayors fat, our councilwomen fat, and our sports mascots fat. Maybe I should move back to Manayunk; the West Coast looks hecka unwelcoming to this pudgy fella.

Back from vacation

Things here in Seattle started getting a bit stagnant, so I went on a little vacation recently. First, a visit to the folks in Manayunk, then a trip to Provincetown. The town was hecka charming, but there was no action to be had, so I watched Battlestar Gallactica on my iPhone.



Passing back through Philly, I picked up the Inquirer to find this story about the corrupt politics of my home state. Apparently, the anti-progressive Democrats used taxpayers' money to fund their efforts to keep Ralph Nader off the ballot in 2004. And these people are supposed to be liberal? I'm glad I got out of that corrupt state. On the other hand, if things here in Seattle don't pick up, I may move to P-town for a while. Oh, heck yeah.

Zzzzzzz

Time magazine reported that the most long-lived and productive people get 6 or 7 hours of sleep, not the 8 hours our doctors always tell us to get. Sleeping longer than 8 hours is apparently linked with depression and obesity. I sleep about 9 hours a day. But am I fleshy because I sleep too much, or do I sleep too much because I'm wide of bottom? I think the huskiness may be linked with the handful of Mary Janes I ate this morning. Then again, I took a nap after that, so who knows?

I'm actually going to be back in Manayunk this weekend, so if anyone wants to have a Zima and watch some arena football, give me a call at my parents' house.

Still alive

Hi friends, I haven't posted in a while, but I just wanted to let you know I'm still alive. I'm enjoying life, lately, so there's less to bitch about. I got new wheels for my Segway, and my personal affairs have been hopeful. But not in that fake-hope Obama sense. Hopeful in a real, progressive, anti-corporate way.

Dang, now I'm all angry again.

This isn't going to help. I should really stop reading Saletan.

Snacks

A couple of news items caught my eye. Neither has anything to do with that voice of the people, Ralph Nader, but both are interesting nonetheless.

The first involves a disturbing trend where companies limit the kind of snacks their employees may consume on the job. They say it's about your health, but really they just want to keep their health insurance costs down. Even if heftyness caused early death, why would a company care -- if you drop dead at 60, they don't have to pay you a pension or post-retirement health care. Fortunately, I do a lot of work from home, so I don't have Big Corporate Brother telling me how to live. A real national health-care system would extend this benefit to all Americans.

The other article I noticed is from Arkansas, a place I've never been. There, a prisoner is suing the state because the meager rations he is given have caused him to lose 100 pounds while in jail. Admittedly, he's still rotund, but this seems like a torture more fit for Guantanamo Bay than for the USA. Not that he's likely to win his suit, since the Republicans restricted prisoners' rights so much in the past ten years. More than the torture, this illustrates my belief that the whole prison system is corrupt and wrong. Better bloggards than I have railed against this ridiculous way of fighting crime. Think about it: putting criminals together in a confined, unfree space is going to get them to act right? Then, when you release them in to society they're even less able to get jobs, exacerbating the poverty-crime cycle.

Better to abolish prisons altogether. But if we must have them, we ought to at least keep the unfree people inside them from starving to death.

Faux-gressives

Today, my home state of Pennsylvania is holding its primaries. As readers of this blog will no doubt remember, I am registered to vote here in Washington, so I can take no part in this election. I'm kind of thankful for that, really. I'd have a hard time choosing between those two corporate shills, Obama and Clinton.

I mean, look at their health care plans: both want to expand health insurance to uninsured people. So, their plan for helping the poor is to give the insurance companies more customers, whom they will promptly deny coverage whenever they need it. That is one hecka lame excuse for a health care system. There's only one candidate who will take those fat cat insurance companies completely out of the picture and have the government insure all Americans directly and for free -- Ralph Nader.

Hillary and Barack are just corporate clones -- if Pennsylvania Democrats want a real social democrat, they're just wasting their time in those voting booths today.

Nader's Raiders

Great news out of the Nader camp today -- Ralph is polling at 10% in Michigan! And Zogby puts him at 5% nationwide! I was worried for a while about the allure of that corporate democrat, Obama, but I'm hecka heartened to see that true progressives know when they're being sold a bill of goods from the two-party duopoly.

Blake, my new friend from down the hall, is slowly being converted to the Nader camp. If Ralph comes out for a free Tibet, which I'm sure he will, Blake will climb on-board the Nader train for good. If only he could be convinced of other things so easily...

Om

I've gotten a bit more political lately. Not on purpose, but I've had more time to think about these things. Someone stole the wheels off my Segway, so I've been hanging around the apartment a lot more. In doing so, I kept running into that guy up the hall who I mentioned in the last post, the one who's all about Free Tibet. He's a decent looking fellow, blond hair, clear skin, deep blue eyes you could get lost all day in...you know the type. Anyway, we've been talking more, and now I'm a big fan of the Dalai Lama.

Hecka big fan.

Free Tibet?

Some of you may have heard about these riots in Tibet against the Chinese government. There's a guy in my building who's hard core for Free Tibet and Radiohead, so I've certainly hard about it. I'm not sure what to think. Maybe if the Chinese government hadn't sold out to the capitalists, they wouldn't have these problems. They should go back to being communists instead of nationalists, or fascists, or whatever the heck they are now.

I hope this doesn't interfere with the Olympics. I'm really looking forward to the synchronised swimming this year.

20-sided death

Today, intelligent people everywhere will mourn the passing of one of the great persons of our time, Gary Gygax. Gygax, for you philistines out there, was the inventor of Dungeons & Dragons. Many's the hour I spent whiling away the days of my youth with his ingenious game. I bought a pair of fuzzy 20-sided dice in tribute, but i can't figure out where to hang them on my Segway.

Farewell, Dungeonmaster...may all your rolls be natural 20's.

No Country for Old Men

I had planned to blog about the Oscars, especially given my disappointment that The Diving Bell and the Butterfly did not win a single award. But after no one came to my Oscars party, I figured it's best to focus on politics.

The big news, you know, is that Nader is IN. Finally, a real choice in this election. Look at this list on his website, and you'll see all the things Obama, Clinton, and McCain won't do, but Ralph will. Canadian-style national health insurance, a carbon tax, a speculation tax, no to nuclear power -- this guy has it all. He may be the oldest candidate in the race, but these ideas are hecka new school. Aw, yeah.

Republicrats and Demicans: United Against Big Folks

According to this transcript of the Democratic debate last December, Obama's Hope Machine doesn't extend it's wondrous works to fat people. Speaking on the need for controlling the costs of a proposed national health insurance plan, Obama says "Well, just to emphasize how important prevention and cost savings can be in the Medicare system, it's estimated if we went back to the obesity rates that existed in 1980, that would save the Medicare system a trillion dollars."

Yes, it's all fat people's fault. Obama may not see a red America or a blue America, but he certainly sees a fat America, and he doesn't like the looks of it. Senator Clinton isn't much better, hating on fatties here, in her health care proposal. John McCain doesn't want to use the government to de-huskify America, but that's more because he doesn't want government health care programs to help anybody -- hardly a better option.

When I hear the kind of visceral hate spewed at heavy people, it seems no different to me than the hate thrown at gay people. Just as some parts of the population are grossed out by the idea of two dudes kissing, some people's skinny little stomachs are turned at the sight of someone who weighs more than 150 pounds. And, in both cases, there's no evidence that either fat people or gay people are ruining anything else for the rest of America. This article on Slate (obviously not by Will Saletan) highlights recent studies that contradict Obama's bogus theory that the big-boned are costing America more money than the skinny.

I'm glad I walked out of the Democratic caucus after Kucinich was eliminated from contention. None of these fatty-haters is worthy of my vote. After reading this, I will make my way down to Green Party headquarters as fast as my Segway can carry me.

The time has come to put an end to fat-based discrimination. The time is now to super-size the Bill of Rights. Unite, my chunky brothers, and let us cast down this skinny tyranny!

Determinism

There's a new study out that suggests that weight is tied far more to genetics than to lifestyle choices. This makes sense -- I was heavy long before Wendy's introduced my current favorite lifestyle choice. But haters will be haters, and as expected, Will Saletan of Slate doesn't believe a word of this new emerging scientific consensus. He's like a global warming denier -- even though respected scientists and journalists have shown the consensus to exist, and even though our rightful President, Al Gore, agrees, some people want to stick their heads in the sand. Just as global warming deniers are all funded by ExxonMobil, I would not be surprised if all the fattitude-as-genetic-determinism deniers were secretly on SlimFast's payroll.

On the other hand, I found this study unconvincing.

Fatty go home, the saga continues

As expected, Will Saletan at Slate weighs in (pun intended) on the Mississippi anti-husky people bill. Although I expected that hater to agree with these Mississippians, Saletan says it's a bad idea, but he seems more concerned with the appearance of impropriety than with the actual discrimination against the big-boned. "Banning people from restaurants based on appearance," he says, "In Mississippi. Great idea."

I was not surprized to see that the bill was written by a Republican, Ted Mayhall, but it actually has bipartisan sponsorship. Of course, a white Baptist Democrat from Mississippi is probably hecka conservative, more so than the Republicans here in Seattle.

Fatty go home, part deux

As I wrote last time, there's a bill pending in the Mississippi legislature that would force restaurants to deny large people the right to eat there. Now, some law professor in D.C. named Banzhaf is supporting the idea. His twist is that it should only apply to chubby children.

I can understand why Banzhaf wants to exclude big adults from the bill -- judging by his picture, he's pretty roly-poly himself -- put I still don't think it's a great bill. Banzhaf seems like a good progressive, using the power of government to help people make the right choices and, ultimately, to craft a better society. But let's not go too far with it. I recall fondly those days of my childhood that included just the sort of meals he wants to ban. While other kids saved their allowance for baseball cards and the like, I spent my money on a delicious Big Bacon Classic. Well, that and my trip to the Battlestar Galactica convention.

Fatty go home

Through the zoftig grapevine, I've heard news of a bill pending in Mississippi that would require restaurateurs to ban fat folks from their establishments. Now, I don't know why I would ever find myself in Mississippi, but if I were, I would expect to be able to buy my fill of grits or cornpone or whatever the heck those people eat. I think the government should pass laws to help people make the right decisions, but for heck's sake let us eat!

Bill and I got thrown out of an all-you-can eat riblets night at Applebee's once, but that was more likely related to some ornery patrons disliking Bill's Chewbacca impression.

Green again?

Well, the last progressive is really out of the race. I wasn't sure I totally believed Edwards, but he was better than Obama and hecka better than Clinton. Maybe Obama's ok, but I feel like his vague uniting rhetoric lacks a passion for punishing the criminal capitalists and eliminating poverty and forcing all the retrograde elements to recognize the equality of all people. I mean, it would be great if we could all get along like Obama says, but only if we all get along based on the right ideas. It's not enough to agree; I want the next President to agree on the right answer.

Still, there is one man who's not afraid to fight for the downtrodden: Ralph Nader. If the choice is between Hillary and some neo-con, it's lose-lose anyway, right? We may as well let the world know that nominating a real progressive is more important than reaching out to rogue capitalists.

Still, I'd hate to come out against Obama. I wouldn't want anyone to think I was racist. That would be hecka lame.

Farewell, noble peacenik

It's a sad day for all progressives, and for all Croatian-Americans, as Dennis Kucinich has dropped out of the Presidential race. He was the last real progressive in the contest. I guess I'll have to vote for Edwards in the caucus next month, but I'm not sure he's really a social democrat. He says all the right things, but he's also really rich and lives in a big mansion.

I wish Al Gore was running.

Mono

My friend Bill keeps trying to convince me that I should get an iPod. I'm pretty happy with my walkman, but I've been considering it. Seems like everyone has one nowadays. Then, today, I realized I made the right choice -- the iPod will not play in mono. I'll stick with the tape deck. Stereo sound gives me hecka vertigo.

More dirty right-wing tricks

While the New Hampshire recount is ongoing, enemies of progress are infringing on the civil rights of Kucinich's office staff and his constituents. Will this right-wing conspiracy never quit!?!

Count 'em

The New Hampshire recount has begun. Now we'll see how Clinton, Obama, and their big-money allies have tried to steal this thing right out from under the people's noses.

Count every vote!

Count every vote!

Kucinich is demanding a recount! I knew he was robbed in New Hampshire. There had to have been more that 3,919 people who wanted him to win, and I'm not just saying that because we're both Croatian.

Finally, someone stood up to Clinton and her right-wing allies.

Comeback Kid on the Couch

Camille Paglia has an interesting take on the psychology of Hillary Rodham Clinton. I'm not sure I agree, but my field's sociology, not psychology. Anyway, I'm a Kucinich man. Clinton's hecka conservative.